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Letters to People
BY TED NORGAARD
Statesman staff writer
Dear O.J. Simpson,
You shouldn’t be worried about your recent arrest in Las Vegas. If you can beat murder charges, armed robbery will be a piece of cake.
Even if you were going to steal the stuff, which I know you of all people would never do, it was sports memorabilia that once belonged to you, but I’m sure you already know that.
Even so, I still haven’t figured out beyond a reasonable doubt why a judge forced you to give that stuff away in the first place.
But lets look at the bright side, this incident spells opportunity for your newfound writing career.
I can see your next book title now, “If I Was Going to Steal Sports Memorabilia That Once Belonged to Me, This is How I Would Do It.”
It’s funny how these things work out for you. I mean, sure it would kind of be a pain being charged with a crime when you’re so obviously innocent, but karma’s getting you back with the book deals.
You keep writing’ em, I’ll keep reading ’em. Always remember, innocent until proven guilty. Ted Norgaard.
P.S. You still coming to Mike Vick’s poker night next week?
