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Letters to People: Hugh Hefner
BY BOBBY DOWNS
STATESMAN STAFF WRITER
iISSUE: 78/24
Dear Hugh Hefner,
First off, there’s one thing I’ve got to say: You are the man! I think that we would be good friends if we got to know each other. Lets just say that if we hung out together, there would be good times, great times and of course, the best of times. Not to mention plenty of high fives. You’d do something silly I’d say, “Oh Heffy,” and you’d say, “Oh Bob-man,” and then, we’d go fornicate with one of your hundreds of playboy models. That’s when the high fives come in.
There is a point to this letter. I don’t mean to bring down the happy tone, but I’ve got some business to attend to. By business, I mean I should be the successor to your nudie magazine empire.
Basically, what I’m saying is: I am fully capable of managing your magazine and I want your girlfriends. So stop being such an old creep and give them to me! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to blow up. Think it over.
