Sociology 1201: Groups--"Marriage Contract"

Pair off within your group. If you have an odd number, one group should include three, although I am not proposing a plural marriage. Then negotiate at least the following issues (and any others that occur to your group as important):

1. If you were in a relationship, or living together, what will lead you to consider marriage?

2. How will you decide on the number and timing of children.? Would you consider adopting?

3. What is most important to you in raising your children? What kind of activities do you want to encourage? Do you have an agenda in terms of religious beliefs? Values?

4. Think about Larieu's distinction between concerted cultivation and natural growth. Which of these descriptions comes closer to the childrearing philosophy you would like to pursue, and why?

5. How will you share job and housework responsibilities before children are born? .

6. How will you share job, housework, and childcare responsibilities after children are born. You may want to differentiate between the years when children are very young and the later years. If you rely on paid childcare, who arranges it? Who gets children to and from daycare? How do you deal with sick children? What if a teacher wants to see a parent because of problems your child may be having?

7. Financial matters. What if one partner earns quite a bit more? Will your finances be entirely shared or kept separate? Who decides about big issues such as cars and homes?

8. Where to live. Do you want to live near your family or well away from them? If your respective families live in very different parts of the country, how will you decide where to live? Where will you spend holidays?

9 Sexual issues: how often and who decides. What if one partner wants sex more frequently than the other?

10. Care of aging parents. What if one or both of you has an aging parent who can no longer live independently? What issues would you consider in deciding how to help?

11. What if one of you becomes disabled, whether via mental or physical illness or accident?

12. What if you run into major problems or disagreements on any of these issues? Will you see a counselor together? (Remember the first family in "Surviving the Good Times" and their hassles about counseling)

13. What kinds of issues, if any, would lead you to consider divorce (or the end of your relationship, if you don't believe in marriage or you aren't allowed to marry? If you split up, how would you arrange custody of the children? If one partner becomes the custodial parent, how do you see the financial responsibilities of the other partner?