Visits Home

A big part of the college experience is living away from home, establishing your own routines, and making your own rules. But what will happen when you return home for a long weekend or over the semester break? Will your parents accept your new independence or will you be expected to follow the house rules that were in place when you were in high school?

Tips for a More Enjoyable Home Visit

• Talk with your parents about your mutual expectations for the visit. Let your parents know if you have other obligations during the visit and, likewise, ask about their expectations. Do you want to spend time with friends or do you need to devote time to course work? Are your parents planning on a big family dinner the evening you arrive? A frank conversation prior to your visit will help to avoid conflicts and disappointments during your visit.
• Ask about the house rules and how they might differ from what was in place in the past. Your parents may expect some of the old rules to stand especially if you have younger siblings.
• Understand that disagreements between you and your parents can be discussed. Remember those "I" statements you learned about in Comm 1222 Interpersonal Communication? Here's the perfect opportunity to try them out.
• Be a considerate guest and don't tie up the telephone or computer or take control of the television remote control. Remember new family routines have been established in your absence. Don't expect everyone else to give up their routines just because you are visiting.
• Be an interested guest. Your parents and siblings will be anxious to hear about what you have been experiencing at UMD, but you should also ask them about their lives.

Link to Additional Information on the Web

Student perspective on returning home http://www.d.umn.edu/student/parents/articles/moving.htm
College Freshman: How to Get Over Homesickness http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/5-22-2005-70318.asp
Coping with summer vacation http://counseling.uoregon.edu/dnn/ParentsCommunity/ShrinkWrapNewsletter/SummerVacation/tabid/162/Default.aspx