Anti space urination group sparks contraversy-3 hours...IN THE FUTURE!!!!
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by Jessica Pseudonym
It has recently come to my attention that there is a rather large motivated group of individuals who are against astronauts jettisoning their urine into space. The group claims that they aren't against astronauts urinating, they just want the astronauts to bag it up and bring it home.
They fear that our fresh water supply is too scarce to carelessly throw some of it away. I think this group raises some good points, like R Kelly shouldn't be allowed to buy commercial space tickets. However, I am going to fight this group all the way over to the clearance bin; over the astronauts right/responsibility to jettison his or her urine into space.
I mean how greedy do you have to be, if you resort to hoarding all of the urine on earth. The astronauts generously send out their urine to some needy planet say: Mars, Venus, or Uranus. Planets who are lucky if they see three drops of urine a year.
When god said let there be light. That might just of been a metaphor for some alien astronaut jettisoned his urine into space, while facing vicious opposition from alien hippies over a billion years ago. Our planet also spends hundreds of millions of dollars a year preserving our endangered species here on earth. But how much money has the world spend projecting urine and other gross organic waste into space with the hopes of creating some unholy stressed out mutant alien species?...not one dime.
Every year NASA tries to communicate with aliens using signals, data, and waves. Truly intelligent aliens treat those signals, data, and waves like spam. "Oh some idiot wants to sell me something," says the Alien. If you really want to get an aliens attention, throw crap on its front lawn. I am pretty sure they will make contact with you shortly thereafter. I mean what are the odds that the aliens would hold a grudge against us for polluting their environmentally clean universe and destroy the earth. Vegas has it at 3:1, but the odds aren't that high, so I highly encourage non of you to take that bet. You should hold out for 6:1 or possibly 8:1.