The Heterosexual Questionnaire

  1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
  2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
  3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase?
  4. Is it possible your heterosexuality stems from a fear of others of the same sex?
  5. If you've never had an intimate relationship with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer a same-sex relationship?
  6. If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mentally impaired persons heterosexuals?
  7. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies?  How did they react?
  8. Your heterosexuality does not offend me as long as you don't try to force it on me.  Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to convert others into their lifestyle?
  9. If you choose to nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual knowing the problems they may face?
  10. The great majority of child molesters are heterosexuals.  Do you really consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?
  11. Why do you insist on being so obvious and making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality?  Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
  12. Heterosexuals are noted for assigning themselves and each other to narrowly restricted stereotyped sex roles.  Why do you cling to such unhealthy roles?
  13. How can you enjoy a fully satisfying sexual experience or deep emotional rapport with a person of the opposite sex when the obvious physical, biological, and temperamental differences between you are so vast?  How can a man understand what pleases a woman or vice-versa?
  14. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
  15. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling.  Why are there so few stable relationships between heterosexuals?
  16. Do heterosexuals hate and distrust others of their own sex?  Is that what makes them heterosexual?
  17. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?
  18. Why do you make a point of attributing heterosexuality to famous people.  Does it justify your own heterosexuality?

Several variations of this questionnaire have circulated for years.  The original author is unknown, but our thanks go to those who initially developed the concept for a questionnaire of this type.