UMDebauchery
By Jake Scott
When it comes to college students, it seems that Saturday night agendas rarely include sobriety. This notion is only encouraged by the many sources that tell us that it’s “the thing to do.” On our very own campus, for example, we have a weekly newspaper, The Statesman, featuring full-page advertisements for local bars and clubs, and proudly displaying pictures of college students having a great time getting intoxicated. Another source of unnecessary encouragement is the professors who repeatedly say to us, “I’m not going to tell you not to drink, because I know you will, regardless.” I understand that the professor probably does not expect 100% of the students in his or her classroom to go out and get sloshed as soon as possible, but having this pounded into our heads all through our years of high school and on into college, one begins to think that it is commonplace to take part in underage drinking. I recently saw a sign on the UMD campusdisplaying a staggering statistic; 80% of college students drink. It is expected of us; an essential part of having a good time.
However, this is pure fiction. We are fed daily by a world of entertainment and advertising that glamorizes alcohol, and the college atmosphere only serves to reinforce this fallacy. Stories flowing constantly from the mouths of those who got inebriated this past weekend (and can’t wait to do it again this coming weekend) seem to beckon us to join the fun. The everyone‘s-doing-it attitude leaves us to ponder the following: What’s the use of resisting if we would be alone in doing so? If we do not participate, will we just end up sitting alone in our dorm rooms, watching TV while all of our peers are out enjoying a night of blissful debauchery?
I would like to offer some good news for the student who fails to find the glamour in public regurgitation, or the appeal of making out with a stranger and remembering nothing the next morning. I would like to offer hope to the student who would rather not attend a party in danger of being crashed by the police, and would rather avoid the fine that accompanies being charged with minor consumption.
Despite popular belief, not everyone is doing it. Do not feel that you are the only one, because that is far from the truth. There are plenty of alternatives that are ultimately less dangerous, less illegal, and less annoying to the general public. Go bowling. Go grab some coffee at Perkins. Go see a movie. Go salsa dancing. There is an endless list of things to occupy your time without the use of alcohol. If you are not thrilled by the prospect of getting sloshed this weekend, there are a great many people who are in a similar mindset. Find those people and enjoy their company while the rest of the student body literally poisons themselves for the sake of a good time.
*Statistics from MNTC*