Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:

a  = poopsie

b = lumpy

c = buttercup

d =  gidget

e = crusty

f = greasy

g =  fluffy

h = cheeseball

i = chim-chim

j =  stinky

k = flunky

l = boobie

m =  pinky

n = zippy

o = goober

p = doofus

q = slimy

r = loopy

s =  snotty

t = tulefel

u = dorkey

v =  squeezit

w = oprah

x = skipper

y =  dinky

z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = apple

b = toilet

c = giggle

d = burger

e = girdle

f =  barf

g = lizard

h = waffle

i =  cootie

j = monkey

k = potty

l =  liver

m = banana

n = rhino

o =  bubble

p = hamster

q = toad

r =  gizzard

s = pizza

t = gerbil

u =  chicken

v = pickle

w = chuckle

x =  tofu

y = gorilla

z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a =  head

b = mouth

c = face

d = nose

e = tush

f = breath

g = pants

h =  shorts

i = lips

j = honker

k =  butt

l = brain

m = tushie

n =  chunks

o = hiney

p = biscuits

q =  toes

r = buns

s = fanny

t =  sniffer

u = sprinkles

v = kisser

w =  squirt

x = humperdinck

y = brains

z =  juice