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Name:
Brandon Swanson |
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Nickname:
Brando, 'Girly Hands', Second in Command - Brule
Pirate Canoe, Mullet Man, 'The guy with Nils on
his skateboard' |
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Age: ???
(unknown, he could be as old as 80) |
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Status:
We'll be turning him over to a female this
coming summer...So long friend! |
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Job:
Unemployed...Brando is currently involved in a
cult of white trash wannabes, but he's hoping to
join an 80's cover band soon. |
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Website:
Click here
to see Brando's site |
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MSN (hotmail):
Unknown |
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AOL IM Screenname:
PEZKing365 |
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Dads name:
Alfalfa (yeah, the one from Little Rascals) |
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Pets:
An entire Posse of Pez dispenser minions |
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Girly hands Scale (1-10):
9.99 (quite nearly the most girly hands you've
ever seen on a man) |
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Friends: Nils,
Mike, Amanda, Tom, Angie, 80's rock bands, and
the millions upon millions of mullet fans around
the world |
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Arch-Enemies:
Bob the Barber, Bob the Builder (only cause he's
related to Bob the Barber), MacGyver (cause he
cut his beautiful mullet), all 90 rock bands! |
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Famous
Quotes: - "Hi, my name is Brando"..."Well
Hello Jamie"..."yeah, this is a mullet, Wanna touch it?"
- Nils: "Brando, I got girly feet,
too. I tried squeezing in your sandals."
"I do not, I'll compare my hands to Angie"...Angie:
"Yep, Brando. You got girly hands"
- *teary Eyed* "This is the best present ever.
It's been a life long dream to get one of these.
Thanks Jamie for a skateboard with Nils's picture on
it." |
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Goal in Life: Join an 80's rock band were a
mullet is praised, not ridiculed. |
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Biggest Accomplishment: Plundering Ryan
McKinney from another Canoe while being the pirates of
the 2004 Brule River trip |
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True Confessions:
"I must admit it. It's hard to but my friend Nils
is right. Jamie's spy like moves are the true
reason I asked her to marry me. Nils is in awe and
despite my denial, I am too. Spy like moves are my
biggest turn on, I'll be a monkey's Uncle before I lose
a girl with cool spy like moves....and, well, hmmm...she
also doesn't mind girly hands and feet." |
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Hobbies: Pirating, Losing Bad at Backgammon,
Settlers of Kazan, skateboarding on Nils's face,
flaunting his mullet, exfoliating his hands and feet to
keep the girly aura. |
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Future Dream:
Transplanting Nils's Strong Manly hands to himself and
giving Nils his girly hands. Brando then plans to
laugh with delight for one full year while pointing at
Nils and saying, "Hahaha...now who has girly hands." |
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Contact me with
more quotes or information on Brando to complete this
profile. |
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