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Name:
Grandma Wickman |
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Nickname:
Florence, G-ma, G-diddy, Grandma, The Farter
Starter, 'Bambi' the Exotic Dancer |
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Age: 86 |
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Status:
Single, but she's got her eye on an old wrinkley
man |
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Job: Currently
dances at the local senior center strip club,
and poses for the Victoria Secret 65+ magazines |
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Website:
Click here
to see Grandma's site |
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MSN (hotmail):
None, she's old! |
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AOL IM Screenname:
Only given to her boyfriends |
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Favorite
Underwear:
Hanes Cotton |
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Nickname for Nils
and Tyler:
Her Boydy Boyz |
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Favorite Casino
Game:
It's a tie between Keno and Bingo |
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Friends:
Theresa, Ester, Bea, Judge Judy, Pat Sajack,
Ronald McDonald |
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Arch-Enemies:
The little old lady that took her Keno Machine
last week, The same little old lady who yelled
bingo when Grandma was one away! |
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Famous
Quotes: - "CRAIG, CRAIG...ummm...I mean NILS,
NILS...Come here and give grandma her kissy-kiss!"
- "Nils/Tyler. Do you want grandma to make you
Jeeeello?"
- *grandma whispering and being secretive* "Let's sneak
out today and go to the casino. Your mother
doesn't have to know. Grandma will even buy you a
delicious chicken sandwich from Hardees."
- *fart, fart fart* "Gee...What was that? Grandma
heard something."
- "Nils! Nils! Where are you going?"
"Uh, the strip club." "To
do what" "see naked ladies."
"Oh, ok...have fun...and buckle your seat belt.
Grandma loves you" (Of course I was sarcastic!!!!) |
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Goal in Life: To match all 6 numbers in nickel
keno. |
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Biggest Accomplishment: Driving through
town going 86 while 86. Way to go G-ma.
(she's the coolest!) |
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True Confessions:
"I know I'm senile. I merely pretend out of
my own humor. Plus I can hear really really well,
but it bothers Craig to turn the volume up to max, so I
push the limit...Pushing limits puts the HA back in
hilarious for grandma....otherwise it would just be
ilrious!" |
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Hobbies: Casino, Keno, Bingo, Chasing old men,
Worrying, Slots, Dancing, Modeling 65+ underwear,
conspiracy theories involving oil changes at JJ's
pro-lube and the possessed seat belt in Nils's car. |
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Future Dream:
To dominate the new belt class in WWE wrestling.
It's the senior 65+ division. She'll now be known
as 'Farting Florence' and will win the belt from the
current champion 'Elderly Ester'. Both experienced
wrestlers in their 90's. After her win, Farting Florence
will finally be happy and retire with her Boydy Boyz! |
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Contact me with
more quotes or information on Grandma to complete this
profile. |
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