WAmber,

Greetings! I'm writing to you on a very serious subject. I've seen you around campus, going to classes, picking your nose, and haning out in the parking lot. We even have a tattoo on the same leg! But it's the hanging out in the parking lot thing that makes me write to you. You see, for the last week or so, you've been drifting closer and closer and closer to my sidewalk grate. See the words, MY SIDEWALK GRATE. This has been my hangout, my spot, where I do all my best thinking, where I dream my dreams, wish my wishes, all that sort of thing. It is not the parking lot, where you normally hang out, and I am afraid that you are very close to invading MY GRATE. You understand that we can't both hang out there, it just wouldn't be the cool and suave thing to do. Besides, you smell terrible. Ever wonder why you don't have any dates ever? You need a shower, dude. Now, if you feel incredibly strongly about MY GRATE, we might be able to arrange a hanging out at the grate schedule. You can be there when I'm at class, and I'll be there the rest of the time. But we can't mix our times. As long as you understand that, I think we can not see each other in peace. And the grate remains mine. All mine. Not anyone elses. My Grate. Have a "grate" day!

Tweak