Sam, I need your advice. My girlfriend, you know the one with the disproportionately large glass eye and the steel plate riveted onto he skull, so that he family could get better television reception, thinks that I may want to consider quiting my job. She apparently thinks that there is something wrong with a woman who is 92 years young managing a thriving lawn mowing consortium and going to school full time. I think she may have a point seeing as the paramedics choose to take their breaks on the street of what ever lawn I seem to be mowing that day, and I thought the buzzards circling overhead was an ominous sign. I was quite flattered until I realized that the paramedics were not showing up every day to check me out, but were waiting to take me to the morgue once I finally keeled over. I am worried that if I quit this job I will have to admitt that I am the Linberg baby and pay my tuition from the commercial endorsements. Though I must admitt that I am not looking forward to doing commercials durring this current Taft administration. Oh yes and I also got a really odd tatoo on my face seems that on I took thursdays medication and\ fridays medication on tuesday. I woke up two weeks later with one hell of a hang over and a tatoo on my face. You should see it some time. I eagerly await you telegram telling me what you think I should do about my career dilema.
Yours in seniliy,
Lefty