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In Reply to: Re: Love VS Fear posted by Hillary Owens-Hamlin on January 04, 1999 at 21:47:37:

I agree that people in abusive relationships might also fear the ones that they love. I disagree, however, that fear is what keeps them in the relationship. There are times when fear does not come into play, and they have their abusive partner at their mercy. (eg. a police officer offers to arrest their abusive partner and has enough information to prevent aqquital.) If it was only fear motivated, they would turn in the abusive partner. But this does not usally happen!! Instead they think that they are in love with their abusers!

***Plus, People who are in abusive relationships tend to go in a cycle of BEING in abusive relationships. They often go from one abusive relationship to another! If the reason they were in an abusive relationship is because of fear, why would they go back to another one? As soon as the threat of an abusive partner leaves (if this is all fear motivated), they should no longer feel forced by threat to be in an abusive relationship. YET, THEY DO. There continues the cycle. It seems that these people have a concepption of love that is abusive, irrational and extremly coercive.

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• Re: Love VS Fear Cassie Piram 19:28:02 1/06/99 (0)

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: I agree that people in abusive relationships might also fear the ones that they love. I disagree, however, that fear is what keeps them in the relationship. There are times when fear does not come into play, and they have their abusive partner at their mercy. (eg. a police officer offers to arrest their abusive partner and has enough information to prevent aqquital.) If it was only fear motivated, they would turn in the abusive partner. But this does not usally happen!! Instead they think that they are in love with their abusers! : ***Plus, People who are in abusive relationships tend to go in a cycle of BEING in abusive relationships. They often go from one abusive relationship to another! If the reason they were in an abusive relationship is because of fear, why would they go back to another one? As soon as the threat of an abusive partner leaves (if this is all fear motivated), they should no longer feel forced by threat to be in an abusive relationship. YET, THEY DO. There continues the cycle. It seems that these people have a concepption of love that is abusive, irrational and extremly coercive.

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